GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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