I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
