i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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