I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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