so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was like eating out sand paper
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
