bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
