She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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