Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
