Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
