I am in a vortex of obligation.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize