you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
