im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize