i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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