Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize