____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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