just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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