Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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