It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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