Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
