when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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