I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
