I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.