Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.