Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city