I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
3pm strippers are depressing
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.