I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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