awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
