"it" just moved
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
