I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
