i think my mom watched the whole time
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
