I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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