Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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