My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize