it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
