Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
