Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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