Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize