is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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