batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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