I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
