She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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