Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
