i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
