My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize