I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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