he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize