I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My hand turned me down
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
