Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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