I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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