Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize