Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
