Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
