So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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