Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize