garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
