thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
