I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
