So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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