dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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