I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
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professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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