He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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