no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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