People with herpes should wear stickers.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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