Got a toothbrush?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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