Whod you bang
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
