Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
