I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
