distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
