You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
