dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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