AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
